Breaking News! New D.C. Trend: Pity Exits
Am I supposed to feel sorry for Harriet Miers, leaving the White House Thursday while biting her lip to hold back the flood of tears because she can't be a Supreme Court Justice to "OMIGOD, like, the most brilliant man ever!," George Bush?(Her words, certainly not mine.) It seems likely that more than one woman exited the Skull and Bones house with similar shame back in the Prez's Yale days.
She's too weak with sadness to even extend her arm all the way for this wave. And then she has to sink her head down into her jacket, as though retreating into its fabric, a precursor to her soon-to-come inability to eat due to depression. Harry, you were a Lotto commissioner. You know what will make you feel better? Go buy a whole roll of scratch-off tickets and see if you break even or come out ahead (cause hint hint, you were the Texas Lotto commish.) And then, go spring for some permanent eyeliner, since the thick application you favor must take you the better part of every morning. Yes, the tattooing process will be painful, but not nearly so painful as all your flattering, apologetic notes to the President coming back with 'Return to Sender' stamped all over them. And think, all that extra time can be spent feathering your bangs!
Harriet's sad, crumpled wave at least seems more truthful than I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby's sympathy prop:
Scooter, the vice president needs those crutches to keep his balance during suprise heart attacks in his knees!
Maybe it's the post-modernist in me but I think if Scooter had zipped out of the White House on a Segway, the photo op would better have symbolized the murderous farce (how often do you see those words strung together?) this administration has become.
She's too weak with sadness to even extend her arm all the way for this wave. And then she has to sink her head down into her jacket, as though retreating into its fabric, a precursor to her soon-to-come inability to eat due to depression. Harry, you were a Lotto commissioner. You know what will make you feel better? Go buy a whole roll of scratch-off tickets and see if you break even or come out ahead (cause hint hint, you were the Texas Lotto commish.) And then, go spring for some permanent eyeliner, since the thick application you favor must take you the better part of every morning. Yes, the tattooing process will be painful, but not nearly so painful as all your flattering, apologetic notes to the President coming back with 'Return to Sender' stamped all over them. And think, all that extra time can be spent feathering your bangs!
Harriet's sad, crumpled wave at least seems more truthful than I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby's sympathy prop:
Scooter, the vice president needs those crutches to keep his balance during suprise heart attacks in his knees!
Maybe it's the post-modernist in me but I think if Scooter had zipped out of the White House on a Segway, the photo op would better have symbolized the murderous farce (how often do you see those words strung together?) this administration has become.
posted by imp @ 11:31 AM
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